Starting the blog a year ago, I can honestly say that I felt alone in many ways. Though I’d dated and become a part of a community, I had a hard time finding a group of people who had thought much about the issues of identity that I faced.
Part of the reason I started this blog was so that I could openly get at those issues. My very moniker, “Gay Mormon Boy,” gets at the complexities of the paths we face as MoHos.
We are gay.
While others prefer terms like Same-Gender Attracted, we are in the same boat. We face contradictions in our God-given, biological emotions and the second part of our identities.
We are Mormon.
Some of us don’t believe in the doctrine while others practice it fully. If I’ve learned anything, we are as diverse as any group of people out there in our beliefs and actions. None of us can escape the impact of the LDS Church upon the way we conceive our lives. Until we resolve these issues for ourselves (in whatever way we deem fit for ourselves), we are left in constant contradiction.
We are boys.
There is perhaps no more conflicted state for a human being than adolescence. We are asked to abandon childish things and take up the mantle of manhood upon reaching puberty. Taking on the biological, social, and emotional challenges, we must resolve conflicts and changes in identity as we grow into the men (or women, a nod to the lady MoHos out there) we must become with no guarantee that we will ever fully arrive. In many ways, the challenge we face in resolving the MoHo identity for ourselves is a second round of adolescence.
There is no way I could handle this journey alone (in fact, I may owe my life to the MoHo community as you’ll find out in this second year of posts). For that reason, I and Horizon (a fellow blogger) have an announcement to share later today. We will unveil a resource to make sure that none of us feel alone in our respective “Wanderings and Delusions.”