Man Harem Inductee #6; 9th Annual Equality Utah Allies Dinner

Dustin Lance Black

This one has been on the docket for a while.  Most of the crushes I’ve shared have been fairly superficial.  This one—at the risk of sounding creepy—goes deeper. 

Since I am a writer (or rather an aspiring one) it’s very easy to get emotionally involved with great writers from a distance—particularly the handsome, strong, activist-types. It’s also important to acknowledge the idea of hero worship here.  His writing is as constructive and powerful as I hope mine will be someday. 

Considering he’s nine years older, I think that' is a genuine possibility.  His work on Big Love and Milk have pushed my writing in some directions I wasn’t really willing to consider years ago with regards to scale and subject matter, so I’ll give him some credit there.  (These projects include some work on the lives of two of the greatest MoHos of all time).

It’s not all about the writing, though.  I’ve overcome a lot in my life with regards to being shy and putting up barriers—barriers that have kept me from being as open (or “out”) as I’d genuinely like to be.  Last night I found another piece of encouragement along those lines.  It’s not often a man harem pick gives a call to action, and let me tell you something: a cute guy encouraging you to be a happier, healthier person making a difference in the life of others is hot.

I did get a chance to introduce myself—knees shaking—and say to him last night at the Equality Utah Allies Dinner, “I’m a real fan of your writing.” He joked that my hair made him feel short and we took a picture.  (Expect to see that soon, FB friends). 

***

To end, though, I’ll share some highlights from the meeting (some very inspirational topics which Dustin Lance Black and so many other great women stand for):

The night was a collision of sorts for me.  So many worlds, groups, and experiences comingling to form a night of  motivation.  Everyone I spoke to left with the drive to make a difference and prove ourselves as the good and loving people we are.  People will think what they will, but actions speak louder than any words including those of supposed biblical condemnation.

Not long ago, I had the pleasure of meeting and sitting down to dinner with Gary & Millie Watts, proponents of Family Fellowship.  That experience was wonderful in its simplicity and the significance of breaking bread with one’s neighbors and family. 

Last night they shared some kind words and family experiences that provide the hope so many of us need.  Probably the most touching moment of the night was hearing the words of their son in a letter from 1997.  Recently excommunicated, he said to his parents, “Thank you for not leaving me out” as he reflected on the tears of his mother—not tears of disappointment over some construct of worthiness but tears of frustration for her son being turned away.

They have come a long way from thinking their son was the only homosexual to making their son’s life and the lives of thousands of other LGBT individuals “a path of love, honesty, and friends—a family path.”  

The theme of family permeated the night as the next pair of award recipients, Jane & Tami Marquardt, pointed out a very interesting and incredibly loving aspect of their lives (one I think should be shared by all).  “We have two families: our family of origin and our family of choice.”

I left very thankful for those words in particular.  So much is given to us at our birth, but regardless of our circumstances, we bring the best people close to us to preserve each other and to commune with them. 

This is what so many organizations concerned with protecting families have wrong.  While we many times accuse them of espousing hate, their real and true crime is destroying love—destroying love that inspires us to leave messages daily for our same-sex partner like “Hey gorgeous.  How’s your day going?”, love that inspires us to serve our communities, and love that transcends labels like “sinner,” love inspiring us to do more than tolerate or accept difference.

Dustin Lance Black’s keynote speech was particularly inspiring.  So often, activism comes off as in-your-face or counter-revolutionary.  In many ways it’s made several people I know cautious of being visible—the ones who’d rather not be associated with shouting matches and shutting down traffic.  Activism has also taken on forms of violence and passive resistance, but none of these images have really fit my vision of who I am. 

After sharing his story (realizing his homosexuality early on in a conservative religion and state later saving himself from self-hate and powerlessness through the redemptive words of Harvey Milk), Black presented a different vision of activism placing emphasis on visibility.

“It is time for every single on e of you to come out,” he declared.  “Think outreach.  Go out there and do good.  Put on your rainbow flags and buttons and make sure people know who you are,” he said.  That, more than anything else, will change the hearts and minds of the people. 

“Visibility is the challenge of this movement.  People fear what is unknown and different,” he said, offering his solution.  “This is why it is imperative we pass all-inclusive anti-discrimination protections in housing and employment.  There are more progressive places that don’t have these protections, but things are happening here in Utah.

“Some people say ‘As California goes, so goes the nation,’ but if we in Utah can show our country where Utah is going (citing the non-discrimination legislation now protecting 650,000 individuals in Utah) we will show them all,especially those who have dismissed us, and as Utah goes, so will this nation.”

I left proud to be a part of the fight in Utah and ready to commit more to the causes of love, equality, and family.  May we all share such a vision of our present and our future and do the good this world needs to truly embody these principles.

 

Other highlights that didn’t quite make it into this summary:

Jane & Tami Marquardt:
“Love deserves respect”
“Behind every great powerdyke there is often a loving and supportive Barbiedyke.”

Dustin Lance Black:
“It’s interesting coming to Utah sometimes.  Look at all of these clean cut young men growing up with appreciation for musicals and ballroom dancing.  How do you know anybody’s gay?!”
Bouncing off of a narrative line about not having the courage to bear testimony as a kid he bore testimony last night:
“I love who I am, cannot change and wouldn’t change.”
”We are blessed with an outsider’s perspective.” 
“We are an important people.” 

Man Harem Inductee #5; Man Harem Must See #2

This week, I just needed out of my house.  I’ve been gym-faithful and good about studying for the GRE, but I really needed some me time.  When a friend texted me asking if I wanted to go see a movie, I couldn’t say no. 

I’d been dying to see a certain movie since I heard Bob Mondello’s NPR review of the movie the other day on the freeway.  A very loose adaptation of Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, I perked my ears at a brief explanation of “Easy A.”

As Mondello puts it, “in most high-school comedies, the high jinks tend to be so lowbrow that even a nod in a literary direction deserves extra credit,” but this smart take on a classic has some serious merit.  Teen movies tend to either be preachy or cater to a low brow audience, but this one strikes the perfect balance (like Mean Girls but less humor-based). 

This movie gets at the issue of sex roles.  While main character Olive is seen as a slut for sleeping a guy (or rather saying she did), the guy is treated as a hero for doing such.  This is a brilliant internal and personal take on our cultural assignments. 

Of course, Olive has a love interest, Penn Badgley who makes the movie doubly-worth the price of admission: 

His eyes have this steely appeal I couldn’t help but notice (and since Chedner wasn’t there, I couldn’t feel too guilty about…).  He’s also been in Gossip Girl and John Tucker Must Die (which I apparently need to see now).

While I could go on about the hair, the biceps, the understatement in the smile, etc., I will just say he comes off as the prince charming that every boy needs—not worrying about what others say, letting you be your own person, being thoughtful and sincere at every turn.  I guess he made me appreciate what I have. 

Enjoy this adventure of a movie which is pleasingly full of allusions not only to literature but also romantic tropes and teen movies that you’ll come out with a thoughtful smile on your face. 

Man Harem Anticlimax

I made a sad discovery about my beloved David Tennant.  He’s not nearly as attractive with an American accent.

 

American accent:

(a 2.2 out of Sex-ay)

 

Scottish Accent (stripped of the Doctor Who costume for the sake of a controlled variable):

(a full SEX-AY out of Sex-ay). 

 

In all serious, though, I think Tennant’s real problem in not succeeding with the American show was a weakly-premiced show because he carries any role he’s given above and beyond the call of duty, though the un-sexy American accent surely did play a role.

Man Harem Inductee #4

Dev Patel

Let’s face it: the only highlight of Avatar: The Last Airbender was this guy.  The acting and writing was just plain terrible (esp. in the case of Aasif Mandvi—too serious for such a comedic actor).  Were the acting at least bearable, the only way to salvage the movie would be an additional 45 minutes, but I hear most of the test audiences just didn’t survive that experience.

As I mentioned, this guy is an exception mostly because of my little crush.  Who couldn’t love this guy after Slumdog Millionaire made even a game show into a fairy tale romance?  Now that it looks like there’s no plans to finish the series and imdb doesn’t have any upcoming movies on his profile, I’m not sure where I’ll get my Dev fix unless he happens to show up at my local Indian restaurant. 

Man Harem Must See

It’s not often something grasps my attention so suddenly and so completely (or Cole’s for that matter), but a certain film has done just that this week, and it’s not because it stars a GMB Man Harem inductee, one Lee Pace:

Pace stars as an injured and depressed stuntman telling a little girl with a broken arm an epic story about five heroes on a mission to defeat an evil governor. His story, the little girl’s and that of the heroes intertwine in an amazing movie filmed over four years in eighteen different countries. The visuals, acting, costumes, and story are all magnificent in this movie I found for $3 at a going out of business sale.

The movie? The Fall:

Some visuals:

An amazing tale of storytelling and responsibility.

Man Harem Inductee #3

I admit it, I came across one of my man-crushes in the headlines today at work, which led to a Google search, which led to some ogling of this eye candy:

James Franco

I guess a gay role in Milk got him some attention. I can only imagine why....

The man can also make me laugh. The Jammie Shuffle SNL sketch really caught my attention. Let's just add adorable and funny to the list now.

Speaking of funny...

He was featured in one of THE best 30 Rock episodes of the season. Here he is with his alleged lover. No, not Liz Lemon/Tina Fey (which would be too much sexy for this planet to handle), but rather his Japanese body pillow named Kimiko. I guess they were poking fun at some rumored "rumors" in this episode.

In my ogling, I learned about dear James' acceptance to the English PhD program at Yale for the Fall 2010 class. That's enough reason to go, right?

I've already drafted a Statement of Purpose:

Dear Yale Graduate Studies Committee:

In my search for an appropriate English Ph.D Program, I feel that Yale has the most to offer me and provides a unique and unignorably perfect fit.

No, it's not because of my test scores or areas of interest (so to speak), but rather because my soul mate, the one and only James Franco, is currently enrolled at your university. Although Rutgers and Columbia have similarly suitable programs for me, I know that Yale is the place for me.

Sincerely,

A Gay Mormon Boy

Man Harem Inductee #2

Neil Patrick Harris

Even though he was on Glee this week, this honor is a long time coming for the former Dr. Doogie Howser. He’s stuck in my mind ever since hosting the Emmy Award Ceremony last September.

I guess what sticks out is his smirky smile, renaissance-man talent, and sense of humor.

Also, I really fell for a very handsome, soft-spoken young man earlier this year who looked a lot like him (only nerdier). I didn’t make the connection until afterwards, but it really drew up a red flag:

“GMB has a crush on NPH!”

Man Harem Inductee #1

For those of you new to the blog as of January or later probably aren’t familiar with one of my favorite posts introducing my Man Harem, a group of men who are part of my fantasy harem.

As of late, I have a few more to add and I’ll get to them one at a time. Up first:

Craig Ferguson

Humor is an essential aspect of any relationship with me. I wouldn’t call myself funny, but I can sure appreciate smart humor. Perhaps the biggest turnoff is when you share something really intelligent and funny and the guy just doesn’t get it.

Inversely, if some hot, witty guy with a Scottish accent comes my way (you know my thing for those Scots…) sweeping me off my feet with his intellect and one-liners, I think I’d have a problem resisting. Craig is definitely an instance of such.

Here’s a recent monologue from him on George Rekers (around the 2:00 mark):