I flashed back to a moment when I was about ten, tonight. (Flashing back has happened to me a lot lately, and not without consequences).
I was standing in line with my mother at a restaurant. I turned around and saw a woman. Her brow protruded sternly. Her posture hunched and defensive. An disconsolate sigh escaping her lungs and wafting my direction.
I avoided eye contact. I was shy and in some measure scared to connect to someone with such a hostile demeanor. I avoided her glances worried whatever emotional malady she experienced in that moment was contagious.
Finally, I lost the game of visual dodgeball as our eyes connected for a moment. Paralyzed, instinct took over. It's been said that a smile is an evolutionary reinvention of the act of bearing one's teeth in threat. In defense, my lips quivered back from their equator, revealing the smile underneath. I closed my eyes, worried at what cruel thing she might say.
As I opened my eyes, I saw a completely different person. Her bronze skin was red with joy rather than the rage I'd perceived. A smile reflected back at me, and I suppose some weak understanding of "you reap what you sow" or the like was formed.
Today, I saw a woman at the store whose body told a different story. She trudged through the parking lot as if she'd had a long day. A hand draped her forehead in frustration and perplexion as she hunted for stray carts in the parking lot.
Driving past, I slowed and looked right at her flashing an unmistakable and confident grin. I was there a week ago, I told myself. Again, the effect was instant and we both came off energized by the thrilling joy of the simplest of human connections.
A smile to those of you I haven't seen or heard from in a while, esp. those of you facing emotional times. We might not talk often, but I hope to be able to share a real smile very soon.
Fique firme. [Stay strong].
