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Sunday, September 13, 2009

“The Wall-E Principle”

One of my favorite things about Cole the way he offers up random bits of wisdom. A certain tenseness comes across his face in anticipation of sharing. He smiles, turns a bit red, and commands everyone's attention as he draws a breath to begin whatever story he is about to tell.

For being just 24 years-old, Cole commands a lot of attention. He's accomplished a lot and has had more than his fair share of life lessons. He's also kind of loud, so that helps too, I suppose.

Cole refers to one gem of wisdom that he tends to share somewhat infrequently as "The Wall-E Principle." I was sitting next to him as he made this discovery in the theater last year, so I can give you a full account of his experience gaining this wisdom (as well as share with you the personal ironies of my love life which accompanied it).

I was seeing Mark at the time and we decided to go to Wall-E with some of my other friends. It was a nice opportunity for them to meet him (even if I wasn't able to introduce him as my boyfriend at the time). It was a big step for me. Everyone treated him like they would any other friend of mine.

As the movie started, I sat there between my best friend and my boyfriend. There was no other place I would rather have been at that moment. (Well, that's not completely true. Being in my home town did prevent me from holding his hand). As the music and opening credits began to roll, I looked over at Cole. He'd had a rough week, and the film immediately drew out of him some worries and emotions that had been in his thoughts that week. Before the credits had even finished, he was in tears. It didn't take long before a concerned father (who had brought his four children to see the movie) sitting on the other side of Cole to ask, "Are you going to be okay?" I smiled, but knew that this formed part of Cole's process of healing and renewal.

To my left, I watched Cole's reaction to the story. I could sense that it would produce (at least in a minor sense) some sort epiphany in my friend, following an abusive and emotionally draining relationship with a bad breakup to boot. He would later go on to explain how the movie details the most essential part of love. As the two main characters WALL-E and EVE are robots, they are very easy to understand. They possess singular, programmed motivations: EVE's to find life on earth and then return to the ship, and Wall-E's to collect trash (and, presented with the opportunity, maybe hold EVE's hand). However, by the end of the film, their relationship has led them to take on each others purposes: WALL-E seeks the plant that was in EVE's custody, while EVE desires to hold WALL-E's hand. Yes, they possess pre-programmed motivations, but as their relationship develops, they take on each others purposes.

The movie shed some light on the process of love as the two robots came together. Love is forgetting yourself in someone else. In his interests, his purposes, and most importantly his well-being. With Mark, I came as closely to that ideal as I have ever come.

Ironically, that was the last night I ever saw Mark. While Cole's face emanated hope and renewal, Mark's subtly communicated a hollow and reserved sense of reluctance. I didn't realize it at the time, but he had something he needed to talk to me about. He drove me home, gave me a good night kiss and another because I asked for it, then he left.

2 comments:

Cole said...

I just wanted to say thanks for the gift of your frienship, my dear GMB. You've offered such wisdom and clarity when I've been confused and riddled with anxiety, and you even laugh at my horrible jokes ("Why did the little girl fall out of the swing?"?

Thank you for the sensitivity and warmth with which you wrote this post. I appreciate the care with which you shared something which was so personal a moment for me.

Always--

Cole

Aaron said...

Eu desfruto muito do isso explicação do amor. Assim sim o amor é como ser a outra pessoa na relação. Você tem que dar você mesmo completamente ao outra pessoa, ao amor, o tudo do que é a outra pessoa. Você tem que aceitar-lhe e ele tem que aceitar-te. Absolutamente aceitar um ao outro. Sem pensar, sem duvidar. Que legal! Que bom!

Disfruto mucho de esta explicación de amor. Asi, sí el amor es como ser otra persona en la relación. Tienes que entregarte completamente al otra persona, el amor, todo lo cual es la otra persona. Hay que aceptar, y él tiene que aceptarte. Absolutamente aceptarse mutuamente. Sin pensar, sin duda. Que vale! Bueno!

Мне нравится многое из этого объяснения в любви. Так что, да любовь, как быть другим лицом в отношениях. Вы должны дать себе совершенно другому человеку, любовь, все из которых является другой человек. Вы должны принять его, и он вынужден принять Вас. Абсолютно принимать друг друга. Не думая, не вызывает сомнений. Хороший!

Am bucura de o mare parte din această explicaţie de dragoste. Deci, da dragostea este ca fiind o altă persoană în relaţie. Ai să vă complet la o altă persoană, dragostea, toate care este altă persoană. Trebuie să-l accepte şi el trebuie să vă accepte. Totalmente accepte reciproc. Fără gândire, fără îndoială. Bun!

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