Saturday, September 26, 2009

“We Need to Talk”, Part 3

Emily presented me with a real problem. One of my best friends since high school, I knew that any form of secrecy would unnecessarily keep her from being a part of my life. She, along with Cole and Matilde, formed one of the most constant and satisfying aspects of my life.

Essentially, I had to tell her or cut her out of my life to a certain extent, which was clearly not a viable option. At this time I had to consider a possibility that terrified me. Would she give me a speech about how I was going to hell or how she'd support me, but not my decisions? Or even worse—abandon me completely? Emily was the first person I told who has an unwavering testimony in the Church. It was the first step towards telling everyone in my life active and faithful in the church (including my family) that what I'd been taught my whole life didn't make as much sense as it always had in my life.

Cole knew exactly what I was going through when the subject came up in a conversation. He wasn't sure what kind of a reaction to anticipate either: "Our dear Emily (as he referred to her and her feelings about tough subjects like this one) is a tender soul."

Rather than directly confronting her about the subject, Cole conceived a plan of his own and called me shortly after implementing it.

"We were on our way home and I brought it up."

"So, how did it go?" I asked.

"Pretty well. I started laughing to myself and told her that I'd had a really funny dream last night. I told her I'd had a dream that you and Grey were dating. Of course, she started giggling."

The truth of the matter was that Grey and I were dating, and Cole's crafty little plan (transparent as it might seem looking back) was alternative. We were able to test the water before diving from the high dive.

Cole continued, "I asked her what she would think if that really happened and she said 'I don't know. He'd still be the same person he's always been, so why would I treat him any differently?' "

The next night, we went out for ice cream. Making sure that the three of us ended up alone at the end of the night, we waited the others out and decided to sit in Cole's car listening to music for a bit. The conversation slowed and I started.

"Emily, I've got something to tell you." I paused and took a necessary breath showing my caution and concern. "What if I told you that I was dating Grey and that I really like him?"

She looked over at Cole realizing that he wasn't joking (…or talking about himself as she later admitted to considering a possibility). Continuing in the hypothetical, she declared, "That wouldn't change anything. You're still you."

To that statement, I probably shed a few tears. If any of you ever wonder what you would do if a son, brother, or friend were to come out to you, I assure you that there are no more comforting words that "You're still you." It made my night and reassured me that in the big picture, friendship conquers little differences in views over religion and sexuality. I am honored to this day to have her as a friend and to be able to share such an important part of my life with her.

End, Part 3


Staci said...

i got a little teary eyed reading this one.

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