Why Do We Like Golden Girls?, Part 3

The Four Strengths (/Chakras)

I suppose the same could be said of a lot of characters, but particular strengths just tend to stick out. As an ensemble of lovely older women, each of the Golden Girls embodies a particular strength and form a balance worthy of study.

Dorothy

Dorothy, for instance, is headstrong. She knows what she’s after, she’s educated and eloquent, and she is the voice of reason that guides everyone else through their problems. She can seem overbearing at times because of her strength.

Sofia

Dorothy’s mother, Sofia, is matriarch of matriarchs. Her strength lays in her tongue (and no that’s not some sort of make out testimonial). Due in part to a stroke, she says things other characters would never say. She’s quick-witted and full of comebacks. She also has sage advice on the tip of her tongue in the form of stories from Sicily.

Rose

Rose also tells stories with the best of intentions; however, her tales of St. Olaf aren’t all that effective for getting her point across. It's telling, in this, that she has strength of heart. She would do anything for her friends with a sweet, though sometimes vacant, look on her face.

Blanche

I don’t say this to be crude, but Blanche is sex strong. She’s been called everything from slut puppy to outright whore and everything in between. That said, she’s confident in her sexuality, priding herself on her appearance and her charisma.

Balance and Unity

Without a doubt, one of the main reasons this show remained popular for so long was because we identified with the characters. “I’m totally a Dorothy.” “Rose reminds me so much of my mom.” “We’ve all been out with at least one Blanche.”

They’re all things I hear often in the gay community. Many of us take note in the strengths of women—everyone from pop stars to politicians—but I think this speaks a great deal to our own world view.

Those are strengths that we want to see in ourselves, so I think it only wise we get in touch with those parts of ourselves first understanding, then finding balance, then finding unity in these strengths much like one would the System of Chakras. Within this system, there are a set of “energy centers” in our body (the chakras)—the focal points for reception and transmission of energies associated with communication, digestion, reproduction and other functions of the body.

This model also serves to understand the role of the four main characters in The Golden Girls: Dorothy’s head-strength signifies reason and drive, Sophia’s tongue-strength provides the group with wisdom and wit, Rose’s heart-strength results in compassion and tenderness, and Blanche’s sex-strength symbolizes confidence in sexual identity.

In all things, one must find balance. Each of these values has consequences associated with excess and deficiency. The vapid guy whose only contributions to conversation are sarcastic remarks could probably use more compassion , and the guy who just sleeps around willy-nilly could definitely would probably benefit from reason more than a carton of condoms.

Ultimately, the goal is balance and unity. As we go through this period in our lives searching out ourselves, it’s important we come to understand our own strengths and weaknesses and surround ourselves with people who even us out, people who we’ll be able to say twenty years from now, “Thank you for bein’ a friend.” I’m lucky to have found many people just like that.

Why Do We Like The Golden Girls?

This post has been on the calendar for some time, but expedited as a result of recent events.

First, Betty White (Rose) hosted the best SNL episode of the season (yes, I place it above Tina Fey and James Franco).

And the second wasn’t such a happy note. Rue McClanahan (Blanche) passed away early last month. This one’s for you, girl. Thank you for being a friend.

The thought has been on my mind for a while, but I’ve finally processed it. Why do gay men like a television show about four women?

Reason #1 : “The Fourmula”

NBC’s Golden Girls was a pioneer of television in many ways, and one sheer sign of success is imitation. The show presented a trend which was imitated at least three times. Rose, Blanche, Dorothy, and Sofia came together as four female friends seeing each other through the happiest and hardest times of their lives.

Each of the women stood out, exemplifying some aspect of womanhood (a topic I’ll discuss later in this series); however, together the ensemble aspect of the show proved a force to reckon with in the world of television.

The following year, another network, CBS, presented it’s own take on the female ensemble comedy. Designing Women premiered in 1986—one year after Golden Girls.

Well-received, but shuffled around in time slots the show was nearly cancelled before the network found a strong pairing with another show featuring another opinionated women Murphy Brown. The show echoed the political and feminist issues of Golden Girls featuring a younger cast.

Following a strong seven-year run, Golden Girls evanesced into television history in 1992. Though the show left a short-lived spinoff in its wake (The Golden Palace—not about a retirement home). The following year another show featuring four women premiered with its own spin on the “fourmula.”

Living Single brought together four independent, single, Brooklyn-based African American women. Honestly, this is a show that deserves revisiting on my part. Growing up in Utah, this show on Fox didn’t really hold much appeal because I didn’t know that many single ladies at the age of 10 let alone African American single ladies.

In watching a few clips, I’ve come to appreciate early Queen Latifah (one of my heroes) as well as an older Kim Fields (Tootie from The Facts of Life). They manage to make being single, successful, and different fashionable for the 90s generation in the wake of an endearing 80s sitcom.

One cannot wrap out this part of the series without a nod to perhaps the most successful show featuring a female foursome.

Interestingly, Sex and the City first appeared on HBO only months after Living Single wrapped up in 1998 and is still fresh in our minds with the latest film installment, adding more sex, fashion (of the shoulderpad-less variety), and (of course) Manhattan to the picture.

Clearly, Golden Girls (at least in the form of its subsequent incarnations) has had an impact on television. In a world largely dominated by men and male-ensemble casts, a place was reserved for a new type of television show thanks to four women in night coats bonding over late-night cheesecake.

Why Do We Like X-Men?, Part 3

Reason #3: The Choice

At the heart of the X-Men mythology, is a deep conflict: We are different, so what do we do about that?

There are several options: embrace it as you would any part of your being, hide the secret, try to change, etc. These are the same options we have.

The storyline of X-Men, for better or for worse, tends to favor that first option. Mutants go to Professor X’s institute to learn to manage and control that part of their life rather than forsaking it, and each of them handles it in the way he or she feels best, at times reverting to the other options.

One thing that made the X-Men stand out from other heroes like Spiderman or Batman (and leave it to a gay man to make this observation) has to do with their costumes. The majority of the X-Men don’t conceal their identities with masks.

This detail suggests that the X-Men don’t divide their lives quite like other superheroes. Since their powers are part of their identity down to their very genetics, a mask becomes a symbol of fear and shame for one’s identity—the very antithesis of what the X-Men stand for.

That brings us back to the other options, to hide and to cure. Hiding is an option that almost becomes second nature the nature of difference, from our youth, often dictates that if we stand out in any way, we will become an object of ridicule, especially in the case of differing sexualities.

This sense of shame can easily escalate into a desire to be cured and become ‘normal,’ conforming to the ideals of society. In the case of our LDS culture, it is to marry in the temple, have children, etc. As sexual difference directly conflicts with this ideal, the obvious solution to this conflict is a cure.

In the comics as well as the third film, a cure for the mutant gene becomes a reality (within the fiction), and some of them do indeed choose a ‘normal’ non-mutant life while others have it forced upon them.

A cure to homosexuality is a complicated and touchy subject—one which raises many questions. Mister Curie posed several in his latest comment:

…How many gay mormons would try to be cured if it were possible (how many try to be cured now even though there isn't much evidence for Evergreen and other approaches being very effective)?... Is there a cure in Christ through the atonement, or does there even need to be a cure?...

Personally, the idea of taking a piece of my life that suddenly made everything else make sense upon realization and purposefully changing it, by nature, seems destructive. I don’t think that everyone should hold the same views that I do, but I would be hiding if I didn’t say that I am thankful for my friends, my experiences, my growth, my identity as a Gay Mormon Boy.

For these reasons, I tend to identify with Angel who lets his wings grow back and, rejecting the cure his father provides, flies away embracing his wings.

End of series.

Why Do We Like X-Men?, Part 2

Reason #2: The Films’ expansion of These Themes

As Mister Curie and boskers pointed out in their comments on the last post, the homosexual overtones in the movie are much more apparent than in the comic books or the cartoons.  This might make more sense taking into consideration the fact that Bryan Singer (below), director and writer of the first two movies, is gay and Jewish. 

 

In a BBC interview he stated that, as a member of minorities,  he connected with the stories of X-Men and X2 because of “everything from the [coming out] scene with Bobby Drake and his family, to Wolverine's journey to uncover his past.”  These connections led the director to focus on minority issues in the films.

MSNBC Film Critic John Hartl’s article “The ‘X-Men’ come out” shows just how these parallels and those presented in Part 1 are especially evident in the film series.  Hartl provides us a very similar arc to one which we are familiar with, focusing on 3 particular characters (Iceman, Jean Grey, and Angel).  Coming out, if you will, is a process, a story, a narrative.  It is a conflict and resolution of identity within a social sphere.  For the mutants in the X-Men Trilogy, a lot of the situations and questions mimic those that many of us encounter as homosexuals.

“Have you tried not being a mutant?” Iceman’s mother asks like a mother might ask her gay son, “Have you ever tried liking girls?”  Both seem preposterous in their own spheres because neither is really a lifestyle choice.

A more intense scene along the same lines passes in the The Last Stand between Angel and his father.   Upset with his own  identity as a mutant, he attempts to hack off his own wings as his disapproving father finds out he is one of the mutants his father despises so much.

So, tied up in these identities are the negative connotations of homosexuality and mutantdom, and we face psychological turmoil as a result.  For example, mutants and homosexuals have a bad reputation for damage caused by their powers and promiscuity, respectively.  So what are we to do?  Avoid and hide from a negatively-defined identity or reinvent it in a manner we deem fit?  

That’s an issue the X-Men films and comics focus on specifically. 

End, Part 2

Why Do We Like X-Men?

So far, I’ve received two suggestions to take on this subject.  I am always open to suggestions (or answering questions for that matter). 

Personally, I hadn’t made the connection between the gay community and the mutant characters of X-Men’s, but it became apparent pretty quickly as I thought it through that there is a reason this particular storyline (as opposed to other muscle-laden mythologies) has garnered such adoration in the gay community. 

But why?  Why Do We Like X-Men?

Reason #1: The X-Gene

Michael in Queer as Folk expresses a deep affinity for comic superheroes.  He makes the following connection with these super-powered heroes: “...in ways that maybe no one intended, those superheroes were a lot like me. At work they're meek, underappreciated... they're the guys that never get laid. And when they're around other people, they can never let anyone get too close for fear that their true identities will be discovered.”

At the heart of this comparison is the idea of difference.  Superheroes are different because of their powers and because of the good that they do with their powers while homosexuals are different from the norm because we don’t fall within the boundaries defined as ‘normal.’ 

What comics manage to do is glorify difference.  As superheroes use said differences for good, they justify their existence.  We assert our strength by embracing these differences and using them to the best of our abilities. 

What draws this link between us and superheroes closer is the genetic aspect of the X-Men mythology.  The X-gene holds in it the key to their difference, much as the fabled ‘gay-gene’ does for us.  This research counters the homosexuality-as-choice idea, defining one’s identity, in part, genetically.

Perhaps the most staggering similarity between homosexuality and the X-men mythology is the developmental parallel.  Super powers and other characteristics remain latent or unexpressed for years until puberty of some intense event. 

That really does parallel the experience of coming out.  Most of us have similar experiences.  Slowly our Obviously Gay Traits (OGTs) began to appear or some guy started to flirt with us and in that moment we knew just as characters began to notice little changes or major events in their own stories. 

For example, at the age of ten, Jean Grey’s powers first manifested themselves as her best friend was hit by a car.  The timing of these experiences is uncanny.  Enough so for us to connect our experiences with identifying and coping with our different sexualities with their experiences identifying differences in abilities.

Why Do We Like Mean Girls? Part 3

Reason #3: The Heart

Tina Fey is as successful as she is because she is able to make social commentary funny without you noticing it is indeed social commentary. Her Mean Girls screenplay is actually an adaption of Rosalind Wiseman’s book Queen Bees and Wannabes, a parenting book. The book’s subtitle (Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence) reveals a bit of what the movie actually gets at if we take is as more than just a romp through the high school social hierarchy.

Don’t feel betrayed there’s social propaganda in your mindless teenage comedy. In the end, it doesn’t matter how it got there. It makes for a good combination (like that peanut butter in a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup—for those of you who don't get that reference, watch this).

Wiseman’s book (and Mean Girls, by extension) tries to put into perspective what really is important in the long run. Will popularity and glamour get us anywhere without substance? Will going out on dates with three different guys every weekend get me into the career of my choice?

Naturally, the answer is no.

Although Mean Girls takes a playfully sarcastic tone towards these issues, it forces us to reexamine the manner we look at ourselves and the ways that we treat each other.

After clawing her way to the top of the high school food chain, Cady comes to realize at the end of the film that:

Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier.Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn't make me any happier.

Mean Girls is a gross exaggeration of the nature of high school. Everyone is a bit self-centered, delusional, and needy, but probably not to this degree. The same can be said of gay world (and my portrayal of it in these posts). In addition to the entertainment and fanasy values of the film, Mean Girls offers us a subtle lesson:

While we all want to belong and take control of our situations, what it really boils down to is being able to have the confidence to stand on our own and be who you are rather than what others expect you to be or some stereotype society has fed us. That's what makes us strong and why we like Mean Girls.

Why Do We Like Mean Girls? Part 2

Reason #2: The Underdog

Continuing in this reading of the movie as a foil for gay culture, let us examine briefly the structure of the movie. It’s nothing we haven’t seen before. It’s a romantic comedy and a teen movie, but at it’s most basic level it is an underdog story.

Mean Girls is about finding your place and belonging. I’ve got to admit that I felt a lot like Cady, the movie’s main character, when I entered gay world. I was overwhelmed by the intricate social cues and expectations, the pressure to dress and maneuver well through society, and to avoid any huge pitfalls.

Gay world exhibited a certain sense of exoticism. It was all so foreign and alluring. Cute guys were all around me, but there was no one I could connect with on a romantic or a platonic level. I was basically a Martian. Within a matter of months, I had made my way to the inner circle (without compromising my morals).

Ultimately, Cady becomes a diva— in charge and high-fashioned. This is a dream that everyone can connect with. Lots of times, we feel like nobodies and just want to be noticed whether that’s to complete us somehow or out of some need for a superficial type of love. Everyone wants to belong and if a little power comes along with that, all the better.

In the end, though, I came to question the of having a respected place in gay world, just as Cady did in Mean Girls: Does being popular or glamorous or influential really amount to anything?

Next time: Reason #3

Why Do We Like Mean Girls?

Back in the day, Lindsay Lohan was not just the butt of child star jokes. She actually had a career. Thanks to the genius of Tina Fey’s Mean Girls (which she wrote and starred in) Lohan’s status as a teen icon was cemented only to crumble away in a couple of years really.

Now, my purpose here is not to discuss some fallen Hollywood starlet. There is a contrast to be made: though her fame might have fallen by the wayside, this movie has managed to remain pretty significant, especially within gay culture.

In a recent conversation with another Gay Mormon Boy (GMB) online, one of us quoted a line from Mean Girls. Without thinking, the other responded with the next line from the movie. We went back and forth 10-15 times before we realized just how well we knew that movie, begging the question “Why?”

Reason #1: The Parallel

There is an obvious correlation to be made by a gay audience:

Girl World = Gay World

The Plastics: Gretchen, Regina, and Karen

In both of these worlds, there is just a comparable amount of drama, cattiness, and social maneuvering. In fact, there are entire Facebook groups (such as this one) devoted to this connection.

One observation (one of many) made in Mean Girls requires very little translation, but applies to both spheres quite easily. The main character’s statement:

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.

…with a simple change becomes…

Halloween* is the one night a year when [gay boys] can dress like a total slut and no other [gay boys] can say anything about it.

[*Alternate translation: Pride]

Based on this evidence, I think it would be possible to produce a shot-for-shot remake of Mean Girls featuring gay men. Such a change would be minor and realistic. As evidenced above, the script rewrite would not be difficult.

Continuing in this line of thought, the next line in the script:

The hard-core girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears.

would become:

The hard-core [gay boys] just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears.

And casting the movie’s Mean Girls (replacing the girls seen above in said ears) would not be difficult either:

Amos as Regina George

Chad as Gretchen Weiners

…and…

(brace yourself)

Timothy as Karen Smith

As much as we don’t like to be stereotyped or parallel the drama satirized by this movie, those of us that fit this mold (stereotypically slutty gay men), often ruin things for the rest of us. As a result, we identify with this movie because of the unfortunate parallel between girl world and gay world. We want justice for the characters harmed by the slutty, drama-addicted, catty characters.

As we observe the meaningless drama in the film (fighting over boys, revenge, etc.), we’re forced to step back and realize that our own situations are, in many ways, trivial and something we can overcome just like Cady, the movie’s main character.

Next time: Reason #2

Why Do We Like…?

As part of an ongoing series, I intend to examine certain social phenomena and how they have become integral parts of gay culture. As a community, we tend to identify with certain types of narratives, people, places, ideas, etc. In this series, I will approach the question “Why do we like these things?” Of course, since the GLBT community is as diverse as any other, please note that I speak in a very general sense that does not apply to everyone.

Glee

On a weekly basis, my friend Stuart hosts a bunch of GMBs in his house to watch Glee. These days, it’s the only show I don’t watch via Hulu a day later. We sit down and joke, make random comments, and snack on whatever Stuart has prepared. (I also tend to watch people’s reactions). Why do we like it so much to set aside this time with work and school, then? (Aside from the man candy…).

Reason #1: The Music

From episode one, we were blown away by the music. Frankly, I can’t listen to the original “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey because the Glee version is so good I watched it about four times in a row the first time I saw it. Music’s pull is obvious on gay men, but goes a bit deeper.

Almost all of the music helps drive or uncover important elements of the plot. It’s almost never expository (for example, singing “I’m Getting Married in the Morning” because that’s what will happen in a couple of scenes). The music brings depth to characters that might otherwise be considered stereotypes.

One of the most amazing scenes was when we first saw Quinn without her Cheerios uniform. Wearing a white pregnancy blouse and singing “Keep Holding On.” Some real tenderness between her, Rachel, and Finn is apparent as they hold hands briefly. And the tears get jerked out of your socket when Quinn lets out a heaving sigh at the end.

The music allows us to empathize with the characters and that’s part of what makes us like it.

Reason #2: The Humor

One of my favorite random blogs, Bri-Tunes: Life on Shuffle, presents a weekly Glee-cap. Brian, the blog’s author, offers some pretty hilarious takes on the show and I tend to agree with him too much. For instance, we share a common appreciation for minor characters such as Britney the cheerleader.

This has a lot to do with the set of stereotypes the show often references. Aside from the adults (perhaps), each character fits (initially) into a distinct stereotype. There’s the jock and the cheerleader. There’s the diva and the loser. And finally a set of minorities that one character nicknames individually “Santana! Wheels! Gay Kid! Asian! Other Asian! Aretha! [and] Shaft!”

Paradoxically, the show plays into these stereotypes to get around them. The cheerleader (Quinn) and football players’ (Finn, Puck, et. al.) initial popularity is stripped of them. Even as an outsider the “Gay Kid” (Curt) teaches the football players how song and dance can fix their game.

We get laughs out of the challenges to these expectations which equate to growth in the characters.

Reason #3: The Utopian vision

Alright, this one might be a bit of a stretch. This show presents a pretty hopeful vision of the future.

While these students challenge their assigned stereotypes and break down barriers, we notice progress towards a world where everyone is accepted, welcomed, and supported despite differences.

Despite the prejudice that the kids face in their society and the terrible things adults do to each other (like faking a pregnancy), they find a way through the latest drama as they help each other. Hopefully, that’s a vision we all hold for the future.