The Family Stone and My Christmas Movie Lineup

Last night, me and my friends had a little Christmas celebration.  A little shopping with Jacqueline and Cole, we set out to make an amazing Chicken Posole.  (More on that Sunday). 

This Christmas season has been a busy one.  As I’ve committed myself to a social life, a dating life, a work life, rehearsals, and the goal to write every day, I’ve found myself with no time to sit back and relax with any Christmas movies.  That was until last night. 

After dinner, Serenity and Emily joined us as we watched The Family Stone.  It was the first time we’d all been together in far too long.  We crowded into my room and gathered round the television.  As Jacqueline worked on Serenity’s nails, Cole, Emily, and I plopped down on my bed and got comfortable. 

(No platonic cuddling was involved.  We’re just not cool with that). 

Being the one Christmas movie I’d decidedly set a goal to see this year, I had some pretty high expectations and the film delivered.  It immediately struck me as something authentic.  None of the characters seemed over the top.  Their decisions, though sometimes impulsive, make sense.  And finally, the relationships between the characters help us understand them and why they are each the individuals that they are.

Here are 5 great scenes:

1. Playing Charades

Sarah Jessica Parker’s character, Meredith finds herself humiliated in front of her potential future family with an impossible charades clue. 

Everyone needs to be initiated with embarrassment.  That’s the case with my group of friends.  Each one of us has at least one. 

2. Making Dinner

Feeling the outsider, conservative Meredith finally connects with someone—Brian, her potential brother-in-law’s partner.  Brian’s one of the only outsiders who’s managed to make it into the stone family.  At one time or another, we’ve all been an outsider.  It’s truly tender when he recognizes that and offers his help.

3. Nature vs. Nurture

Meredith upsets her boyfriend’s mother Sybil when she asks why any parent would want a gay child.

Meredith (following five minutes rambling on the subject and rising tension in the room) says. “I just think any parent would want a normal child.”

“Goddammit!” Sybil shouts to stop her from hurting everyone more.

Everyone is important.  Everyone has challenges.  And parents love their children regardless of what those challenges might be.

4. The Present

Thoughtful gifts can bring people together.  This photo of Sybil comes to symbolize the Stone’s love for each other.

5. The Ending

As Cole pointed out (in the fashion of Jeremy Denk), the last scene’s soundtrack is elegantly simple.  Three notes are repeated over and over again as it becomes clear that people are what bring families together and that unconditional love is what provides us the only reliable foundation for the future. 

 

Merry Christmas!

 

 

Here are a few of my other Christmas favorites:

Love Actually
A Christmas Story
It’s a Wonderful Life
Muppet Christmas Carol
Home Alone (I prefer the second)
White Christmas
Holiday Inn

Chicken Stroganoff

Again, I had the urge to do something completely different, so I thought I’d share with you one of my favorite recipes (in honor of my Meryl’s Julie and Julia coming out on DVD). I seldom cook a meal more than an hour or so, but for a recent dinner party I held, I decided to go all out, having some friends (Serenity, Cole, Jacqueline, and Matilde) over to my new apartment.

The dish is Latin American and delicious (without being spicy if you’re concerned), but doesn’t stand too well as leftovers.

Here’s what you’ll need to serve 4:

4 chicken breasts cubed
Lime juice
2 Tbsp. olive oil
1 Tbsp. mustard
Salt
1/2 cup milk
2 cans table cream
mushrooms (the more the better in my opinion)
Ketchup
Potato sticks
Rice

By the end, it should look something like the picture above but lighter (below are pictures of the process and the results).

Instructions:

1. Wash cubed chicken with lime.
2. Fry with oil until almost ready.
3. Add mustard and salt (more than you think).
4. Mix and fry until golden brown
5. Stir in milk and cream.
6. Heat until boils.
7. Add mushrooms.
8. Add ketchup if color is unpleasant.
9. Serve over rice.
10. For garnish and texture, add potato sticks as desired.

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“We Need to Talk”, Part 5

After that emotional episode with Jacqueline, I became a little more cautious in regards to coming out to especially close friends from high school.

Since everyone I saw on a regular basis already knew, the issue didn't come up often. By that time, everyone around me knew and the issues were all on the table by that point. At this point, Jacqueline and Cole began to work through some issues and ended up being as close as they'd ever been. Because of Cole and Jacqueline's situation, I was rather cautious about coming out to friend Serenity. We'd never actually dated or anything the like, but it was apparent that she had feelings for me in high school.

To be honest, part of Serenity terrified me. She is one of the strongest women I know. Intense as the pyres of purgatory. Amazingly talented. One of those few people who could do anything she put her mind to and given a fair chance. Without meeting her, you can understand why I was intimidated.

In high school, I was struggling with a lot of different things (enough that I could probably compile into a post of itself) and evaded or played dumb to any hint Serenity might have provided for us to do anything alone together. This persisted for longer than either of us would be happy to admit yet we considered each other friends.

In the year or so before my mission, we had the biggest falling out I've ever had in my life (with the exception of perhaps a mission friend, but, again, that's another story…). It involved the production of a musical—a high-brow satire of communist ideology—and creative rights. We both abandoned the project and three years of awkwardness ensued.

Upon my return, things had improved thanks to the healing powers of time. We were both more mature and I had gained some confidence from the trials of being a missionary. That said, there was a certain residual awkwardness we were not able to overcome no matter how much fun we had together. Living a few hours apart, we'd make an effort to hang out when we managed to be in the same part of Utah at the same time.

Being the sophisticated, talented woman she is, Serenity didn't need to sit down with me and have a tough conversation to realize that I was gay. Perhaps she knew before anyone else.

One of my little evasive tactics for talking about life without indicating my sexuality is constructing my sentences without subject pronouns. That way there's no lying involved—just a lot of "We did this or that" and benign code words. In conversation, Mark became known as "The Missionary." After sitting through one of these conversations with me and Jacqueline on a shopping trip, Serenity immediately became suspicious. And as Cole was one of the only guys I introduced "The Missionary" to, Serenity sought to put her curiosities to rest. The following is a recreated conversation between the two:

Cole: Serenity! How are you? Is school treating you well?

Serenity: You know. Same old. Same old. Lots of stress.

Cole: I know. You're as amazing as ever and holding that A average.

Serenity: Haha…. Maybe.

Cole: I'm sorry I couldn't make it down last week with the others. Jacqueline and (Gay Mormon Boy) said you three had a great time.

Serenity: Yeah. It was great. I have a question for you, though.

Cole: Of course.

Serenity: What's this about GMB's "Missionary"

Cole: What about "The Missionary?"

Serenity: I guess it surprised me to hear GMB was so serious with someone.

Cole: (anticipating) So what's your question?

Serenity: Is his missionary a guy?

Cole: Ummm… I can't answer that question. You'll need to talk to him about that.

So she knew. Cole told me immediately and I wasn't sure what to think. That bit of terror and fear from high school resurfaced as I anticipated running into her the next time. What would she say? Would she avoid me? Would she even bring it up?

Upon arriving at her place for a little pre-Halloween festivity, I felt a real difference in the atmosphere as she opened the door to her apartment. That little talk with Cole ironically cured our relationship of all the awkwardness in the air. Serenity quickly adjusted as the possibility of a relationship came to an end forever and my capacity in her life—as a shopping buddy and fellow partaker of the arts—came to fruition. We were able to joke like never before and laugh about everything we'd been through.

Sharing this part of my life has brought me closer and closer to nearly all of my friends. The more I accept and share this part of my life, the better I feel about everything I had once felt badly or awkwardly about. I might have a different approach to making my life what I want it to be—taking things a day at a time rather than jumping in—I can see that I have been and am making genuine progress in my life in a direction I'm finally happy with.

And in the end, I think that's all any of us can ask.

Sharpening That Utah Gaydar

A couple of months after one of my best girl friends returned from her mission, my best friend decided that it was time we broke the news to her. It was difficult for all of us. Jacqueline, the friend in question, was shocked and upset by the prospect of her two best male friends were gay. Both of us had served missions. Both of us had been ideal friends in high school and afterwards, yet such a revelation inevitably resulted in a sense of betrayal.

As Jacqueline came to terms with the idea of her two best guys being gay (one doesn't necessarily adjust to the fag hag mantle at the drop of a hat), she needed time space and the help of a few friends who had already gone through such a transition. Eventually, she came around and we found ourselves, weeks later with another friend from Provo, at PF Chang's sitting down to a twenty-something's idea of a fancy dinner.

Within a few minutes, the conversation turned to the gay life in Utah. "Utah must have the worst dating scene there is. How do you even find somebody?" Cole, the other gay bff, pointed out one of the waiters and within a few minutes the waiter returned a flirting glance. Shocked, Jacqueline gasped unintentionally and once the waiter was out of sight exclaimed, "How did you do that?!"

We explained that it's a science that comes with practice and is by no means perfect. Within ten minutes we had a list:

1. Is the facial hair nicely trimmed?
   
2. Does the hair stick up in any way (ie. a faux hawk)?
   
3. Are the shoes pointy or at least Italian-looking?
   
4. Does he have cologne in his car? Hair products?
   
5. Is his but tucked as he walks?
   
6. Are his clothes exceptionally well coordinated? (ie. Does his underwear match the rest of his outfit?)
   
7. V-necks?
   
8. Is there a gym membership on his key chain? Or a rewards card to any of the following: a high-end clothing store, a shoe store, a book store?
   

   …
   

Now let's be honest. The aforementioned characteristics are coveted in a straight man which is why it seemed a little piece of Jaqueline died each time we added a point to this list. As the conversation came to an end, she exclaimed "I'm going to end up marrying Bronson!" (one of our more frumpy and awkward high school friends).

To her credit, we did make it seem as if all of the attractive single men in Utah are gay (or gay and don't know it), but we offered her a consoling piece of advice: marry a boy with sisters. "If there's any hope of a straight boy being somewhat concerned about his appearance," Cole advised, "he's probably learned it from his sisters."