In Memoriam

Instead of continuing the current series as planned, I’ve elected for a day of silence in memory of Stuart Matis, a gay Mormon who shot himself on the steps of his meetinghouse in Palo Alto, CA ten years ago today (Feb. 25, 2000).

In honor of his parents wishes not to politicize his death on this day, I leave you with links to other posts remembering him and his own words (taken from these sites):

"I implore the students at BYU [Brigham Young University] to re-assess their homophobic feelings. Seek to understand first before you make comments. We have the same needs as you. We desire to love and be loved. We desire to live our lives with happiness. We are not a threat to you or your families. We are your sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, neighbors, co-workers and friends, and most importantly, we are all children of God."

"Perhaps my death … might become the catalyst for much good. I’m sure that you will now be strengthened in your resolve to teach the members and the leaders [of the Church] regarding the true nature of homosexuality." (letter to family, Los Altos Town Crier)

"The church has no idea that as I type this letter, there are surely boys and girls on their calloused knees imploring God to free them from this pain. They hate themselves. They retire to bed with their finger pointed to their head in the form of a gun. The church's involvement in the Knight initiative [prop 22] will only add to the great pain suffered by these young gay Mormons." (letter to cousin weeks before his death)

"Straight members have absolutely no idea what it is like to grow up gay in this church. It is a life of constant torment, self-hatred and internalized homophobia." (same letter to cousin).

Accounts:
Requiem for a Gay Mormon: In memory of Henry Stuart Matis
Henry Stuart Matis (1967-2000)
To Be Gay — And Mormon (Newsweek)

Others’ Reactions:
I Will Remember You
Dear Stuart
Remembering Stuart
When Heavy Wings Grow Lighter
The Matis Statement
No Such Thing as a Coincidence?

Utah Culture 101

The Honor Code

My apologies, readers. I had every intention of writing the next installment of the Internet Dating series, but found myself without time. The weekend was eventful in the best of unexpected ways.

Instead I leave you with something that I ran across this week that I hadn’t examined for myself. It definitely helps understand the Mormon/homosexual dichotomy at least for those attending Brigham Young University and other schools.

BYU’s Honor Code (a contractual code of conduct between school and student) states the following in the section entitled “Homosexual Behavior or Advocacy”:

Brigham Young University will respond to homosexual behavior rather than to feelings or attraction and welcomes as full members of the university community all whose behavior meets university standards. Members of the university community can remain in good Honor Code standing if they conduct their lives in a manner consistent with gospel principles and the Honor Code.

One's stated same-gender attraction is not an Honor Code issue. However, the Honor Code requires all members of the university community to manifest a strict commitment to the law of chastity [A commandment to abstain from sex until marriage]. Homosexual behavior and/or advocacy of homosexual behavior are inappropriate and violate the Honor Code. Homosexual behavior includes not only sexual relations between members of the same sex, but all forms of physical intimacy that give expression to homosexual feelings. Advocacy includes seeking to influence others to engage in homosexual behavior or promoting homosexual relations as being morally acceptable.

For those of you unfamiliar with the LDS faith or culture, I hope that this sheds some light. Those breaking the Honor Code face expulsion from the school as a consequence of their actions. Students of BYU and other church-run schools are aware of these conditions as they enter them.

(Sorry, BYU friends and alumni, I couldn’t help myself with the pic).

To my chagrin, I must admit that I pinched this informational report from a post I came across in Salt Lake’s Gay Gossip Blog, Salty Gossip. (It’s a sort of guilty pleasure…).