What the Heck is Boxing Day? and Other Holiday Lessons I’ve Gleaned from TV

TV may rot our brains, but sure makes up for it sometimes.  Christmas is one of those times (and every Wednesday night there’s an episode of Glee showing). 

Inspired by the resident TV-holic’s column on mental floss, I came up with a list of my favorite holiday lessons:

1. Boxing Day?  What kind of a holiday is that!?

I’m sure that many of you have looked at a calendar and wondered about little ol’ Dec. 26.  Behind Christmas and  Christmas Eve, this little holiday gets overlooked (mostly because we don’t celebrate it here).  It’s the day that servants and royalty traded places for a day to learn about each other.  Winchester works in the kitchen while Klinger acts as Coronel.  Perspective is the only present anybody unwraps on this day. 

2. Being with Those You Love Is Healing in Itself

Snowed in, the gang of The Mary Tyler Moore Show agrees to participate in the filming of a holiday-themed episode of Sue Ann’s show The Happy Homemaker.  Due to a series of squabbles earlier, Murray, Ted, Lou, and Mare start out pretty testy, but by the end of the night, their hearts are warmed by the holiday spirit and each other’s company.  See the transition here:

 

3. Singing Can Get You Out of Any Awkward Situation

Perhaps not a very good lesson (or true), but hilarious.  For those of you who don’t know, this delightfully edgy show (The Catherine Tate Show) out of the UK.  It’s also the basis of the first conversation I ever had with Mark.

Perhaps, the better lesson is have some tact.

4. Every Family is Dysfunctional

I often tell people that my second mission in life is to keep 30 Rock from becoming the next Arrested Development (cancelled after three seasons after winning a countless number of awards).  Episodes like Ludachristmas are the reason for that. 

Jack’s insanely cold mother, Colleen (played by Elaine Stritch), is in from Florida for a holiday visit.   This trip coincides with that of the hyperbolically stable and supportive Lemons, Liz’s family.  As Jack starts to identify with the Lemons and prefer their company, she makes it her mission to teach him a valuable lesson.  The holiday message of this episode is bold: every family has its problems, so there’s no reason to envy or compare yourself to someone else’s family situation.

The Family Stone and My Christmas Movie Lineup

Last night, me and my friends had a little Christmas celebration.  A little shopping with Jacqueline and Cole, we set out to make an amazing Chicken Posole.  (More on that Sunday). 

This Christmas season has been a busy one.  As I’ve committed myself to a social life, a dating life, a work life, rehearsals, and the goal to write every day, I’ve found myself with no time to sit back and relax with any Christmas movies.  That was until last night. 

After dinner, Serenity and Emily joined us as we watched The Family Stone.  It was the first time we’d all been together in far too long.  We crowded into my room and gathered round the television.  As Jacqueline worked on Serenity’s nails, Cole, Emily, and I plopped down on my bed and got comfortable. 

(No platonic cuddling was involved.  We’re just not cool with that). 

Being the one Christmas movie I’d decidedly set a goal to see this year, I had some pretty high expectations and the film delivered.  It immediately struck me as something authentic.  None of the characters seemed over the top.  Their decisions, though sometimes impulsive, make sense.  And finally, the relationships between the characters help us understand them and why they are each the individuals that they are.

Here are 5 great scenes:

1. Playing Charades

Sarah Jessica Parker’s character, Meredith finds herself humiliated in front of her potential future family with an impossible charades clue. 

Everyone needs to be initiated with embarrassment.  That’s the case with my group of friends.  Each one of us has at least one. 

2. Making Dinner

Feeling the outsider, conservative Meredith finally connects with someone—Brian, her potential brother-in-law’s partner.  Brian’s one of the only outsiders who’s managed to make it into the stone family.  At one time or another, we’ve all been an outsider.  It’s truly tender when he recognizes that and offers his help.

3. Nature vs. Nurture

Meredith upsets her boyfriend’s mother Sybil when she asks why any parent would want a gay child.

Meredith (following five minutes rambling on the subject and rising tension in the room) says. “I just think any parent would want a normal child.”

“Goddammit!” Sybil shouts to stop her from hurting everyone more.

Everyone is important.  Everyone has challenges.  And parents love their children regardless of what those challenges might be.

4. The Present

Thoughtful gifts can bring people together.  This photo of Sybil comes to symbolize the Stone’s love for each other.

5. The Ending

As Cole pointed out (in the fashion of Jeremy Denk), the last scene’s soundtrack is elegantly simple.  Three notes are repeated over and over again as it becomes clear that people are what bring families together and that unconditional love is what provides us the only reliable foundation for the future. 

 

Merry Christmas!

 

 

Here are a few of my other Christmas favorites:

Love Actually
A Christmas Story
It’s a Wonderful Life
Muppet Christmas Carol
Home Alone (I prefer the second)
White Christmas
Holiday Inn

My Unconventional Christmas Playlist

I distinctly remember when I was eleven years old a certain car trip with my father. We had visited the neighbors and left them some Christmas goodies. Standard fare for my parents: crocheted dish towels and hand-dipped chocolates.

The time came, though, to take a twenty-minute drive to leave a present with my father's boss. I joined him for the visit because I'd appreciated his boss's sarcastic wit even as a child and in part because he wasn't your typical guy living in residential Utah. I also found him intriguing because he was an atheist.

The light irony of taking him a Christmas present was not lost on me, but I kept it to myself. My father and I have never been one for conversation. We're talkative in our own spheres, but disconnected in many senses of the word. That trip, on Christmas Eve several years ago, was spent listening to a countdown on the radio. NPR was presenting the 100 best Holiday songs ranging from vocal to instrumental, from fun to somber, and from secular to religious.

At that point, I fell in love with NPR. (I'll recount my love affair with Diane Rehm some other, more appropriate time). I gained a real appreciation for the range of music that comes with the holiday season.  Here are a few of the songs that perked my ears up in that afternoon and afterwards (click on the titles of lyrics): 

1. We Need A Little Christmas

Let’s face it.  This one is perhaps the gayest Christmas song of all time.  It captures the excitement of singing, cooking, and—of course—decorating.  From the Broadway musical Mame, it engrosses us in the anticipation of the holiday season unlike any other song.  You’d think my father would figure out my sexuality then and there.

2. El Tamborilero (The Little Drummer Boy) - Tito Puente

Tito Puente and Christmas.  The combination is as fun as it sounds.  Some great Latin rhythms

3. All I want for Christmas is a Hippopotamus

This one’s just preposterous, but that’s why it works.  It was a novelty song for a zoo back in the day. 

4. I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus

Yes, I meant 'Daddy.'  And No, it isn't what you think….

Click the title for lyrics and an explanation. 

5. You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

I’m not sure how to describe the appeal of this one.  I guess it has something to do with the Grinch (like Ebenezer Scrooge or Rudolph) being one of the most interesting Christmas characters ever. 

6. Blanca Navidad (White Christmas)

This is a really spicy (salsa) version of the song.  Luis Enrique’s voice is like chocolate.  If there were a Christmas number in The Emperor's New Groove, this is what it would sound like.  As far as translations go, I think I might like this one better than the original.  Here he is (not quite as hot as usual…):

7. Carol of the Bells

From the first time I saw Home Alone, John Williams’ orchestration of the song, I got chills. 

8. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

What gay Christmas list would be complete without an appearance from Judy Garland?  This number from Meet Me in St. Louis produces instant tears.  Her voice is so beautiful and this scene is ten times as tender as the song alone.

9. My Grown Up Christmas List

Perhaps the corniest song on my list, this number by Amy Grant seems to sum up the spirit of the holiday very well.  Selflessly, the song asks for:

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list.

This is what I wish for many people in my life:  peace, friendship, happiness, acceptance, justice, and unconditional love.  May others treat you with the respect you deserve and the same tenderness everyone should expect whether you’re poor or rich, out or closeted, religious or atheist.

My Christmas Reading List

One of my favorite Christmas memories took place just a few years ago. It was a snowy night and we found ourselves at Cole’s place for a holiday party.

After a night of games and treats, we sat in his living room taking a breather. We sat around and looked at each other debating what we should do when Cole stood up and grabbed a basket between the television stand and the fireplace.

“Who wants to hear a story?” Cole asked, pulling a book from the basket.

None of us were quite sure what to make of the question. All of us were high school graduates and some of us college graduates, so the concept of Cole reading us a story seemed slightly foreign. In an instant, though, we’d warmed to the idea of being kids again and he started reading.

We sat there as he read to us Red Ranger Came Calling which details the story of a boy calling himself “The Red Ranger of Mars.” It’s not your same old rehashed imagery or story. It appeals to even the cynics who have a hard time getting into the holidays. That night through the amazing illustrations and lively conversations, we learned that “Sometimes folks need something to believe in” and “Sometimes folks need someone to believe in them.”

Sometimes we do need to take a step back and think like kids again.

In the holiday spirit, I have collected some of my favorite kids Christmas books:

1. How The Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss

Standard holiday fare. We all know the story and have it engrained in our minds by the Boris Karloff-narrated, Chuck Jones-animated version of the story. It’s a classic, so I’ll leave it at that. (No comment on the movie adaptation…).

2. 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Again, not much in the way of originality here. It’s a classic story we all know. A poem approaching it’s bicentennial, it was originally written by Henry Livingston, Jr. and later revised by Clemente Clarke Moore. There are plenty of interesting and original takes and illustrations on the story out there. Take a look. I've been told the Tasha Tudor-illustrated version is a good one.

3. The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg

I remember this one always flying off the shelves in the elementary school library. Everybody wanted to take it home so their parents could read it to them. Probably appealing for its illustrations and the concept, which some train companies actually copy.

4. A Wish for Wings That Work by Berke Breathed

Breathed also penned and illustrated the aforementioned Red Ranger Came Calling as well as the comic strip Bloom County. He has a knack for humoring adults and children alike and getting at some pretty deep stuff just by wowing you with some quick with and a few strokes of the brush.

5. The Twelve Days of Christmas illustrated by Jack Kent

This is a hilarious illustrated representation of the song. It takes the song quite literally and I haven’t seen this book since I was eight years old. It disappeared from the library and I never saw it after my first read. Someday, I will spontaneously buy this book after a bad day.

6. Christmas in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder

Confession time: I love Laura Ingalls Wilder. Every night I would read a few chapters of one of the Little House books to my mother from the age of seven.

7. You Are Special by Max Lucado

This is just an affirming book that shows that being ourselves is what really matters. I suppose I’ve always associated it with Christmas because it was part of a Sunday School Christmas lesson.

No matter who you are, how you were made (or how you believe you were made), or how people treat you, there are good people out there that love you in this world. There is no greater Christmas lesson than that.

Here are some other suggestions from friends:

Snowmen at Night and Snowmen at Christmas
(Both by Caralyn Buehner and Mark Buehner)

A Child's Christmas in Wales
Dylan Thomas

Merry Christmas, Ernest & Celestine
Gabrielle Vincent

A snowman named just Bob and A snowgirl named just Sue
Mark Kimball Moulton

The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey
Susan Wojciechowski

Santa Claustrophobia
Mike Reiss